Listen up, fellow Shopify merchants. We need to have a heart-to-heart about your product descriptions. And I’m not going to sugarcoat this – they’re probably terrible.
Don’t take it personally. I’ve audited over 100 Shopify stores, and let me tell you, most product descriptions read like they were written by a robot having an existential crisis.
So buckle up, because we’re about to rebuild your product descriptions from the ground up.
Here’s a fun fact that should make you sweat a little: 84% of your traffic is mobile. Yet somehow, your product descriptions still look like they were designed for a desktop monitor from 2005.
I see you there, writing paragraphs that would make Tolstoy jealous. Your customers are not trying to read War and Peace while deciding whether to buy your yoga mat. Each paragraph should be maximum 2 sentences and never exceed 40 words.
Quick reality check: If someone needs to scroll horizontally to read your description, you’ve already lost them. And their thumbs.
When was the last time you actually looked at your product page on your phone? (And I mean really looked, not just glanced while scrolling through Instagram.) If you haven’t added a visual element every 3-4 lines – emojis, bullets, or even just white space – you’ve created what I like to call “The Wall of Doom.”
Your customers see that wall of text and immediately think, “Nope, I’ll just buy from Amazon instead.”
Oh, you think you’re doing SEO because you mentioned your product name twice? That’s adorable.
Here’s what I see constantly: merchants either completely ignore keywords or stuff them in like they’re making a Thanksgiving turkey. Your primary keyword should appear in the first 25 words naturally, not shoehorned in like an awkward conversation topic at a family dinner.
Pro tip: If your keyword density is anywhere outside the 0.8-1.2% range, you’re either being lazy or trying too hard. Neither is a good look.
While you’re busy optimizing for 2015, your customers are asking Alexa, “What’s the best wireless speaker under $100?” If your description doesn’t include conversational phrases like “This speaker is perfect when you need…” you’re missing out on an entire generation of shoppers.
This is where things get really painful. You’re sitting on a goldmine of psychological triggers, and instead, you’re writing descriptions that have all the emotional appeal of a tax document.
Most merchants lead with features instead of benefits. Your customers don’t care that your backpack has “premium 600D polyester construction.” They care that it won’t fall apart when they’re rushing to catch their flight.
Start with the outcome, not the specifications. Answer “What’s in it for me?” in your first sentence, or watch your conversion rates stay flatter than a pancake.
“Chosen by 10,000+ customers” hits different than “Made with quality materials.” Yet somehow, you’re burying your social proof deeper than a pharaoh’s treasure. Integrate customer counts, ratings, or testimonials right in your description where people can actually see them.
Here’s the thing about urgency – it works, but only when it’s authentic. Stop with the fake countdown timers and manufactured scarcity. Instead, use genuine time-sensitivity like seasonal relevance or actual inventory levels.
“Perfect for summer camping trips” is infinitely better than “ONLY 3 LEFT IN STOCK!!! (there are actually 500 in the warehouse).”
Let’s talk about the behind-the-scenes elements that are quietly sabotaging your success.
The sweet spot is 200-350 words. Under 150 words, and you look like you don’t care. Over 500 words, and you’re writing a dissertation that nobody asked for.
If your Flesch reading score is below 65, you’re making your customers work too hard. Aim for 8th-grade level writing – not because your customers aren’t smart, but because they’re busy and don’t want to decipher your prose.
How do you know if your changes are working if you’re not tracking conversion rates, mobile bounce rates, time on page, and add-to-cart rates? You’re flying blind and wondering why you’re not landing where you want to go.
Here’s the comprehensive audit that successful stores use to generate significant additional revenue. I’ve organized it by priority so you can stop procrastinating and start fixing.
Mobile Optimization Must-Haves:
Conversion Basics:
SEO Foundations:
Advanced SEO:
Psychology Triggers:
Technical Implementation:
Advanced Psychology:
When stores actually implement these changes, here’s what happens:
Today:
This Week:
This Month:
Look, I get it. Rewriting product descriptions isn’t as exciting as designing new packaging or launching a TikTok campaign. But here’s the thing – it’s probably the highest-ROI activity you can do right now.
Your customers are literally telling you what they want with their behavior. They’re bouncing off your mobile pages, abandoning their carts, and buying from competitors who simply communicate better.
The question isn’t whether you should fix your product descriptions. The question is: how much money are you willing to lose while you procrastinate?
Ready to stop leaving money on the table? Start with your three best-selling products and implement these changes today. Your conversion rates (and your bank account) will thank you.